Nintendo introduced us to the fascinating world of Pocket Monsters, better known as Pokemon, way back in 1995. Since then, Ash and his trusty Pikachu have combined to become a TV, gaming, and pop culture icon. Behind Nintendo’s Mario franchise, Pokemon has gone on to become the second-highest selling game series of all time with over 340 million hard copies sold (according to Pokemon.co) and over a billion downloads. It’s a cultural phenomenon that doesn’t look like it’s disappearing anytime soon.
Nothing is perfect, however, and even the best make mistakes. While Nintendo gave us incredible, poster-worthy Pokemon like Mew, Charizard, Jolteon, and so on, they also dished out a few underwhelming, rather pointless, and frankly useless creatures as well. Some of these Pokemon should have never been anything more than a crumpled up piece of paper hurled toward the recycle bin.
The saddest thing about Metapod is that it is an evolved form of another Pokemon, Caterpie. Imagine growing up as a Caterpie, full of hope and aspirations, only to finally ‘make it’ and transform into a dull, green, Bug-type cocoon. If you ask us, leave Caterpie in its first form and forget about Metapod entirely. You might never get a Butterfree as a result, but it’s worth it to avoid the useless middle evolution.
A wild duck with a sword might be a little intimidating, sure. But it’s nothing compared to a duck wielding a sprig of green onion – that would send even the bravest of us running for the hills. Seriously, nothing scares off Pokemon trainers more than vegetables, right? Farfetch’d would have been more beneficial on a dinner plate than in a Pokedex.
Rattata is a rat – plain and simple. As a Normal-type Pokemon, it doesn’t have any unique abilities worth writing home about, and the motivation to evolve it into a Raticate (which is just a bigger rat, in all honesty) is non-existent. It’s one of those wandering Pokemon, which when found in the long grass, made us want to hurl our Game Boys at the wall at full speed.
If we didn’t want to come across a Rattata, why on Earth would be want to have a Raticate in our arsenal? While this Pokemon might learn handy moves as it levels up, such as Hyper Fang at level 26 and Sucker Punch at level 34, if it’s still in our six chosen Pokemon at that stage, we’ve done something wrong. There are better options out there, so it isn’t worth our time.
We really shouldn’t have to justify why this Pokemon is a waste of space, because Vanillite is nothing more than a sentient ice cream. When the Pokemon creators ran out of ideas, they should have gone to bed and tried again in the morning, but instead, they gave eyes to a soft-serve cone.
If there was ever anything more annoying than encountering wild Zubat after wild Zubat while strolling through Mt. Moon in the dark, we haven’t heard of it. While we can applaud the makers of Pokemon for their creativity for plenty of their creatures, Zubat is certainly not one of them. It’s also extremely weak against Electric, Ice, and Rock-type Pokemon, making it a poor choice in battle.
Who? Yeah, exactly. Masquerain is the type of Pokemon that could vanish into a black hole, relieved forever of its existence, and seasoned trainers wouldn’t even bat an eyelid. This Bug and Flying-type’s main attacking move is Intimidate, however, we can’t think of anything less fitting for what is merely a glorified moth.
It’s wildly unsettling how much of a human resemblance Jynx has. Her humanoid form was entirely deliberate too, making it even more creepy. Pokemon and people shouldn’t be mixed, it’s as simple as that. Unless we want to enter into some strange, mythical, centaur-like universe, Jynx needs to get booted, fast.
Look, we appreciate the intent to highlight creative abilities and hobbies, but creating a painter Pokemon just wasn’t the right way to go about it. Nothing is less intimidating than a paintbrush, so lining up in battle with a Smeargle is, in essence, throwing in the white flag. Oh, and it doesn’t even evolve into Picasso or Da Vinci or anything like that.
If there was one Pokemon whose absence would make this list incomplete, it’s Magikarp. Yes, we know that it evolves into the almighty Gyarados, but that doesn’t make Magikarp as its own entity any more appealing. It can Splash as much as it likes, and we’ll continue to ignore it.
When you’re commonly known as the ‘Egg Pokémon’, you should take that as a hint that your value resembles a lonely, caged, replaceable creature. Pokemondb describes Chansey as a “gentle and kindhearted Pokemon that shares its nutritious eggs if it sees an injured Pokemon”. Sure, that’s all well and good, but isn’t the point of Pokemon to battle? Whipping up some Eggs Benedict isn’t going to take down a charging Arcanine now, is it?
One Tentacool? Yeah, fine. Two? Okay. Three zillion?! C’MON NOW! When you’re roaming through the seas, there is literally nothing more infuriating than Tentacool after Tentacool appearing and trying to hijack our joyful moments on the water. Thankfully we can use Repel, but in the unbearable scenario that we’ve run dry, the emotional agony might just be enough to make us throw our console into the garbage disposal.
It’s no secret that when we hear the word Pokemon, an image of Ash and his trusty Pikachu come to mind. Heck, Pikachu even starred in his own movie recently (Pokemon Detective Pikachu). The thing is, it seems like Pichu was created to try to leech off its similarly-named successor Pokemon. Simply put, Pichu is like an off-brand, cheap-supermarket, past-its-used-by-date version of our beloved Pikachu.
Four moves per Pokemon isn’t a whole lot to choose from, so when we take away three of them away, that’s just cruel. Well, that’s Unown for you. Hidden Power is its only attack move, and it’s pretty darn useless. Even the flopping, splashing, dim-witted Magikarp can contribute more to a Pokemon trainer more than these sacks of deadweight.
In the same vein as Metapod, Kakuna presents itself as one of the most useless Pokemon throughout the entire franchise. While can appreciate the effort to replicate real-world nature with a cocoon stage that transitions Caterpie to Butterfree (caterpillar to butterfly), the fact is that Beedrill does not need a cocoon! Bees come into the world as bees and leave as bees, making Kakuna utterly irrelevant.
5 Mr. Mime
We may have gotten a few laughs out of Mr. Mime in the recent, live-action movie, Pokemon Detective Pikachu, but that doesn’t make this Pokemon any more influential to the franchise. It’s always practicing its pantomime act, which is of no benefit to trainers, and frankly, its constant grin is overtly creepy.
There’s nothing worse than a copycat who takes credit for all of your training and hard work, and Ditto is exactly that. The shapeshifting, genderless, Normal-type Pokemon represents the end of good ideas in the Pokemon realm. Ditto would have been more impressive as an ability rather than a whole Pokemon.
What do a crusty piece of pre-chewed gum found on the underside of a high-school table and a Grimer have in common? Well, pretty much everything, to be honest. As a puddle of sludge, Grimer significantly lacks appeal and would wind up discarded on the side of the road. Perhaps its evolved form, Muk, is worth the wait? Not in the slightest.
Half a dozen eggs might serve a purpose if you’re baking a cake, but they’re rather irrelevant throughout the Pokemon world. Even then, Exeggcute’s eggs are already cracked, so a cake might not even be possible. This Pokemon deserves to be scrambled at a low-heat, not anywhere in or near our Pokedex.
While plenty of us couch potatoes might be able to relate to the lazy Slaking, that doesn’t make its existence any more justified. In the wild, these Pokemon spend the majority of their days sleeping, and when they’re not dozing off, they’re eating the grass around them like a half-wit. Snorlax was the perfect lazy Pokemon and Slaking is merely a poor effort to ride the success of Snorlax.