The 10 Funniest Quotes From Three’s Company

Three’s Company was a classic sitcom of the 70s and 80s. For the funniest quotes from the sitcom, check out the best from Chrissy, Larry & more.

For 8 seasons Three’s Company captured fan’s hearts by making them consistently laugh. It was a lighthearted comedy that could make even the most negative person crack a smile. Fans never knew what kind of ridiculous situation or misunderstanding the three roommates would get themselves into next or what smart-aleck thing the Ropers would say next.

No matter what happened on the episode though, fans were sure to get a giggle from it. Three’s Company was one of the best sitcom of its time as it was full of humor, wit, and sass. Here are the 10 funniest quotes from Three’s Company:

10 “Why? Does It Have Dandruff?” – Chrissy

Chrissy was clearly not the brains behind the operation during her time with Three’s Company but because of her childlike personality she was often the character with the funniest lines. One of the silliest moments on the show that had every fan giggling was when Mr. Roper told Chrissy he was there to shampoo their rug.

Chrissy of course responded, “Why? Does it have dandruff?” This was obviously the only logical response as why else would someone shampoo a rug. Chrissy was the only one on the series to ask the serious questions.

9 “Well, I Figure, Anyone Who Gets Up An Hour Early To Put On Eyeliner, Fake Eyelashes, And Plastic Nails, Isn’t Someone Who Wants To Hear The Truth.” – Larry

Every fan of Three’s Company is grateful that Larry was a regular on the series as he often cracked fans up with his wit and charm. And who could argue with his sound logic? When Jack asked is best pal Larry if he had thought of telling a girl the truth, true to form Larry answers with unshakable logic.

It was fair for Larry to assume that someone who wakes up early to put on fake eyelashes and nails is probably not a person who is interested in honesty and being true. Jack couldn’t argue that point.

8 “An Old Stove, And An Old Husband, And They Both Take Too Long To Heat Up.” – Mrs. Roper

Poor Mrs. Roper was always ready to make whoopie with her husband but unfortunately the feeling was never mutual. Throughout the 2 seasons the cynical older couple were in, it was made very clear that Mrs. Roper was in constant desperate need of affection, but her husband’s response was always the same, “Not tonight.”

When Mrs. Roper tells Mr. Roper she needs a new stove, he lets her know she does not as there is nothing wrong with the one she has. Mrs. Roper agrees as she doesn’t want to break up the matching set, her old husband and her old stove who both take too long to heat up.

7“Eat Your Salad Before It Gets Cold.” – Chrissy

If there is one thing you can say about Chrissy Snow, it’s that she was consistent. She was consistently naive and not very bright. But this made fans love her even more. One of her best lines that made every fan laugh and raise their eyebrows was when she stated, “Eat your salad before it gets cold.”

It’s a good thing Chrissy mostly left the cooking up to Jack because if she doesn’t know a salad does not get cold then she probably shouldn’t be working with hazardous kitchen appliances. Not everyone is meant to be a chef.

6“I’ve Never Been That Hungry.” – Larry

For most of Three’s Company, Larry is a lady’s man who enjoys his free-spirited single lifestyle. He is always ready to take a woman out on a date but when it comes to marriage he couldn’t be further from being ready for that commitment. One of Larry’s best lines that summarizes his feelings about marriage perfectly is, “I’ve never been that hungry.”

When Larry tells Janet it’s not often that a single guy such as himself gets a home-cooked meal, Janet asks him why he doesn’t just get married? To that absurd question Larry replies, “I’ve never been that hungry.” Fans cracked up once again at Larry’s unwillingness to commit.

5“The Place I Got A Pain You Don’t See A Dentist.” – Mrs. Roper

No one was more filled with sass on Three’s Company than Mrs. Helen Roper especially when she is talking to her husband. When Mr. Roper is complaining about having a toothache, his loving wife suggests he go see a dentist because his toothache is giving her a pain.

Mr. Roper tells his wife that if she is having a pain maybe she should go to the dentist. But Mr. Roper’s and Mrs. Roper’s pains are in two very different areas. The place Mrs. Roper has a pain is outside of the dentist’s area of expertise.

4“I’m Hoping To Open Up A Little Restaurant For People Who Can Really Appreciate High Prices.” – Jack

Jack Tripper is an inspiring chef whose dream is to open up his own restaurant. But not just any run of the mill restaurant, it’s going to be a very special place for a special type of people. People who can really appreciate high prices.

Jack’s dream does come true when he opens Jack’s Bistro in season  7 episode 5 “Jack Gets His Own Restaurant”. It was a difficult road for Jack to open up his bistro and the official opening night of the restaurant didn’t happen until season 7 episode 6 “Opening Night.” Fans all cheered for Jack as his dream of having a restaurant for people who appreciate high prices finally came to life.

3“You Know, It’s A Shame You Don’t Live In India. You’d Be Sacred There.” – Mr. Roper

Fans love Mrs. Roper’s sassy comebacks, but she is not the only one who can fire off a hilarious insult at any given moment. Mr. Roper himself also has that special talent and it’s probably why they’ve been able to make their marriage work through the ups and downs. You know what they say, birds of a feather flock together.

Mr. Roper enjoyed giving his adoring wife constant compliments such as, “You know, it’s a shame  you don’t live in India. You’d be sacred there.” What a gentleman and loving husband. Mrs. Roper sure is a lucky lady.

2“Or Better Yet, Give Her One.” – Jack

Sometimes Chrissy’s logic didn’t make sense to anyone except Chrissy but luckily for her, her friends Jack and Janet were always there to help her out. When Janet tells Chrissy that buying Mr. Roper’s car would be the answer to their prayers, Chrissy insists that can’t be true as nobody prayed about.

Janet responds to Chrissy’s logic, “Okay, then let’s start. Please, God, make Chrissy change her mind.” But Jack Tripper came to save when he said, “Or better yet, give her one.” That would really be the answer to many people’s prayers.

1“I Don’t Want To Be Happy, I Want To Be With You.” – Mr. Roper

Mr. and Mrs. Roper have an obvious love for each other which was proven time and time again throughout their two seasons on Three’s Company. They may insult each other but when it comes down to it, they truly only want to be with each other.

This was proven when Mr. Roper told his wife that he only wanted to prove to her that other women found him attractive. Mrs. Roper did not appreciate what he attempted to prove so she told her husband to go to his new lover, that she hoped he’d be happy, and to see if she cared. But Mr. Roper didn’t want to go to another woman and told his wife, “I don’t want to be happy, I want to be with you.” True love.

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