Paulie Walnuts is one of the most entertaining characters on The Sopranos. He is one of Tony Soprano’s most loyal men and he takes his job very seriously. His main concern is always about getting the job done by any means necessary. He respects Tony wholeheartedly and expects everyone else to show the same level of respect at all times.
Thanks to his long-winded and inaccurate facts about anything and everything, as well as his overall bizarre personality, Paulie is one of the funniest characters on the show. While he’s always good for a laugh, he can also quickly remind you that he is a very dangerous character. With one line, Paulie can go from lovable clown to cold-blooded killer. Here are Paulie Walnut’s 10 most intimidating quotes from The Sopranos.
“F**king poison ivy all over… I can feel it itching me already.”
In one of the most famous kills on the show, Paulie and Chris (Michael Imperioli) hunt down Mikey Palmice, a man responsible for several attempts on Tony’s life. Paulie and Chris find Mickey jogging and chase him into the woods. During the chase, Paulie runs into a patch of poison ivy.
It’s one of the many examples of Paulie adding some very dark humor to a scene. As Mikey begs for his life, Paulie is far more concerned about the irritation on his skin before he shoots Mikey several times. Even when acting like a goofball, Paulie is deadly.
“I guess you could call that a d***.”
When a member of the crew becomes a “made man” it’s a very big moment. Of course, it also means that they are entitled to a bit of an initiation. When it comes time for Chris to be made official, he has the bad luck of having Paulie as the one responsible for the hazing.
Paulie is known for giving people a hard time and he does not go easy on Chris at all. After telling Chris that they have to be sure new members aren’t wearing wires, he forces him to strip naked, with some very convincing threats. Once Chris reluctantly follows the order, Paulie doesn’t hesitate to take the opportunity for an insult as well.
“As of the wedding day, anything that touches her p***y is off-limits.”
During that very intrusive initiation period that Chris goes through, Paulie goes to great lengths to embarrass and inconvenience the young man. After visiting Chris’ home in the middle of the night for a “routine inspection”, Paulie goes too far by inspecting Chris’ fiance’s underwear drawer and sniffing some of them.
Tony confronts Paulie about the deplorable behavior but Paulie is unapologetic. When Tony reminds him that Chris is going to marry this girl, Paulie stands his ground, saying “As of the wedding day, anything that touches her p***y is off-limits.”
“Don’t touch that. My program’s coming on.”
Not even a guy as high-ranking as Paulie is immune to serving a bit of time. In Season 4, he is sent to prison for a small period of time, but that doesn’t stop him from complaining about it the entire time. However, we see that even in prison, Paulie is able to get what he wants.
As he’s talking to one of his former associates on the phone, another inmate goes to change the channel in the prison’s television room. Paulie is quick to shut that down, as he’s waiting for his program. That’s all the needs to be said and the television belongs to Paulie.
“Better yet, go to the ear, nose, and throat department. Get your hearing checked.”
Tony Soprano is the kind of guy you don’t question. He is not someone who has a lot of patience for repeating himself, but Paulie has even less patience. If anyone forgets for a second that Tony is the boss and whatever he says is law, Paulie is very quick to remind them.
When visiting one of their colleagues in the hospital, Tony asks the injured man’s son to leave the room so they can discuss some sensitive topics. When the son questions Tony, Paulie gives him a not-so-gentle reminder that Tony wasn’t making a request.
“I’m here to tell you one thing. You ever go whining to the big man again about s**t between you and me, we’ll have a problem, my friend.”
Paulie and Chris are a very entertaining pair. Their adventures and misadventures have made for some of the most memorable moments on the show. But they also can be quite combative at times. And Paulie’s underwear-sniffing moment certainly didn’t bring them closer.
Despite being in the wrong, Paulie is more insulted that Chris told Tony what he did. Even though they are friends, and even though it seemed like a silly thing at first, Paulie lets Chris know that he does not tolerate being ratted on by anyone.
“They’ve been told. Twice. Now I’ll tell them.”
Paulie has so many funny and ridiculous moments in the show, that it can be really shocking when he suddenly turns violent. He is in the line of business where he occasionally kills people, and it’s easy to forget how ruthless he can be.
After abducting a man who has been encroaching on their territory, Paulie gives him a message to bring back to his friends. He says they are to stay away from their territory and New Jersey altogether. When the man agrees to deliver the message, Paulie assures him he’ll deliver it himself then shoots the man. A terrifying moment from the funnyman.
“Lets wack this c***sucker and be done with it.”
Ralphie Cifaretto is a character who was obviously not going to last long on this show. He is introduced in Season 3 as a successful captain of the Aprile crew but his violent outbursts and unstable behavior quickly put him at odds with several very dangerous characters.
After challenging Tony on several occasions, it appears their differences must come to a violent end. While Tony is hesitant, Paulie makes his thoughts known very clear. It’s almost humorous how matter-of-fact Paulie thinks of murdering someone he doesn’t like.
“The boss of this family told you you’re gonna be Santa Clause. You’re Santa Clause. So shut the f*** up about it.”
Paulie can even turn something as fun and wholesome as Christmas into an occasion to intimidate and threaten. As the crew sits around talking about who will take over as Santa this year (since they killed the last Santa), they decide Bobby Baccalieri is the perfect man for the job.
Bobby tries to politely refuse the assignment, saying that he’s too shy. Paulie immediately loses the spirit of Christmas and lets Bobby know that this is not a job that is up for debate.
“The world don’t run on love.”
The organization within The Sopranos is often referred to as a family. It’s true that many of them are very close, but they have also had to do some terrible things to members of that so-called family. Paulie has been involved in some of those moments, most prominently, the murder of Big Pussy.
Big Pussy was a major member of the crew but also acted as an informant. Paulie was heartbroken by the betrayal and it changed him in some ways. As he and Tony talk about how killing someone they love, like Big Pussy, was different, Paulie declares the love can’t interfere with what needs to be done.